Now of course most people who will stumble upon this blog will be here because this blog is linked to the music making side of my life. And whilst it is of course true that making music is one of my biggest passions in life, i don't make music because i want to, i do it because i have to!
Let me explain;
For the last 4 or 5 years i have become increasingly aware that my brain struggles to shut off, and even though it might sound egotistical in some ways; i know that throughout my life i have never met anyone who truly can understand how i think.
Im an only child, something i am very glad of, although i am of course biased to this opinion i feel that being extremely comfortable existing as a singular person and not someones brother or sister grants an extra boost in mental stability. I also think that it lends very well to the idea that only children are much happier when left to their own devices and can make use of alone time to a higher level.
For instance; if you leave me on my own for a few hours with my keyboard and laptop, i will start, write and finish a composition. But if you have someone else in the room at the same time, it is likely that this will slow down my progress. This isn't saying that i cant work well with others, but rather that i am happier solving problems on my own for the reason that there is much more reward when the success isn't shared :)
Its very true that i have never tried to be the best academically in my life, i scrapped through my a-levels and only applied to one university which i got into and then scrapped a 2:2. But this is based mostly on the fact that i have always enjoyed absorbing information in a more natural sense. If you have a tutor or teacher that are telling you what to learn and how to learn it; then there is much less incentive to accept and retain that knowledge. However finding a passion and then improving that passion through your own methods of information gathering and self teaching - can provide something much more worthwhile.
All of this is linked to having a brain that wont shut off. My coping mechanism is to channel my over active synaptic's into something i have chosen to be my passion, and as it was chosen it also means that the outcomes and successes give much bigger rewards. Meaning that the more i create the more rewarding it becomes!
This is why i quit my job to make music.
Tom / Occams Laser